The Context Of Things

F’n woke up this morning at about 3:44am. Normally when I do that, I go get some water, maybe pee, and then go back to sleep. That works 8 times out of 10. This morning was one of two times it didn’t. I lay there for a while, thinking about work, thinking about my life, whatever. After about 45 minutes, I gave up. I went outside and emptied the dishwasher, fired up the laptop, looked around at some Serial conspiracy theories, messed around on social media, considered writing a post for this blog, didn’t, and then went to the gym. Came back, and on the walk back — despite just exercising for 1 hour — I started having these creeping feelings of self-doubt. This happens to me a lot, so it’s not necessarily a new thing, but the form this time was that I felt irrelevant. Like…

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